Self Pity

My daughter was born at 29 weeks. For some reason people who had a child born at 36/37 weeks completely healthy feel the need to tell me how horrible their experience was. It has been that way even before Madeline got out of the NICU. Someone will say "Oh yeah, "insert name" was born at 37 weeks.. two hours after she was born she had to go to the nursery for a while for observation and it was the worst hour of my life.." I try to smile, while inside I am thinking my child was in the NICU for 6 weeks, couldn't breath, eat, do anything on her own. Your child was "preterm" and mine was "premature." There is a major difference.

Here I am once again 25 weeks pregant. I am so grateful to have made it to a point in pregnanct that I know my child, if born early, would most likely survive. And as things are possibly unraveling in my body I am getting things at home ready for if I end up in a similar situation I did with Madeline.

Someone who had a 36 week child, for them was traumatic. For me my 29 week old child was traumatic. But there are people who can't have biological children. There are people who try for years and years to have children. There are people who lose children. I think I am realizing that no matter what, there is always someone who has it worse. So as I sit here and start to pity myself, I know that I am so incredibly blessed to have a healthy two year old and a healthy little girl who hasn't been born yet. And it doesn't matter if she is born tomorrow, in a week or two weeks past her due date. I am blessed to have her at all.

The Diving Board.

Today Madeline jumped off a diving board onto my head! I almost drown and her hair didn't even get wet! Haha crazy child!!

Lindsey..

Is having farmhouse dreams..



..sigh why must we be a military family who moves around?!

Yesterday..

the love of my life turned two..

On August 12, 2008 I had probably the worst day of my life. I wasn't able to breath on my own, couldn't eat, couldn't do anything. I had surgery to deliver a two pound baby and I had no clue what that meant for me or her.

Six weeks later, on September 22, 2008 I had the best day of my life when I brought my little girl home to our empty condo. I had my pug, yorkie and a four and a half pound baby. I was scared to death.

Two years later we survived and I am so blessed to have her every single second.

Madeline was the first person I ever loved more than myself. She taught me how to love my husband, parents, family and friends. I could never begin to express how grateful I am that she came into the world, no matter how crazy it seemed at the time. She is more than I ever deserved or ever dreamed of.

I hope you had a great second birthday Madeline and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life watching you grow!

Wild Child and Beautiful Weather

Today was a good day. My last pregnancy I battled high blood pressure. So far this pregnancy I am having low blood pressure. Strange huh?! So in attempt to raise my blood pressure and get my blood pumping, I have been dragging my friend Erin to water aerobics classes! The main problem with this is that when Taylor is at work Madeline HATES (and I mean strongly hates) the YMCA nursery. Sigh. So today towards the end of my class I look over to see the daycare worker walking along side of the pool with my snotty little hysterical girl. She grabbed me so tight I thought she would never let go. Haha all I can do is laugh (and get extremely nervouse how she is going to handle preschool for three hours twice a week starting next month!!)

The weather here the past few days has been in the 80's and it is perfect. Today Madeline and I went on a walk and played with all of her toy cars outside. It was a great evening! It makes me think I would enjoy living up north where the summer time isn't quite so hot! When we spent a day in Savanah (which is on the top of our list) last month it was topping 100 and I could barely breath!!

I am enjoying these last few months where it is just Madeline and I. Even when she is cranky and being awful, I am so thankful to have such a beautiful and healthy angel who constantly makes me smile.

We just got home from Daytona, Florida with my parents and brother Kaleb. We had a great trip with lots of fun in the sun, Aunt Catfish's and a manatee cruise! We saw dolphins everyday!

Madeline is growing up so fast. It seems most days words are just pouring from her mouth! Next week she turns two, I can hardly believe it! Taylor and I are headed home on the 11th (also Taylor's birthday!) to have Madeline's birthday party! We are all so excited about it!

Taylor and I are also busy thinking about things we need for the baby, thinking about what we could possibly want for Christmas and planning a romantic cruise for next year! We were planning to go in the spring, but that would probably be a little much with a new baby! So we are looking to go at the end of next summer or the fall! I can't wait! We had booked a trip to Hawaii for May 2010, but we were pregnant so decided to just be happy with Daytona for this year!