Sunday, August 29, 2010

Self Pity

My daughter was born at 29 weeks. For some reason people who had a child born at 36/37 weeks completely healthy feel the need to tell me how horrible their experience was. It has been that way even before Madeline got out of the NICU. Someone will say "Oh yeah, "insert name" was born at 37 weeks.. two hours after she was born she had to go to the nursery for a while for observation and it was the worst hour of my life.." I try to smile, while inside I am thinking my child was in the NICU for 6 weeks, couldn't breath, eat, do anything on her own. Your child was "preterm" and mine was "premature." There is a major difference.

Here I am once again 25 weeks pregant. I am so grateful to have made it to a point in pregnanct that I know my child, if born early, would most likely survive. And as things are possibly unraveling in my body I am getting things at home ready for if I end up in a similar situation I did with Madeline.

Someone who had a 36 week child, for them was traumatic. For me my 29 week old child was traumatic. But there are people who can't have biological children. There are people who try for years and years to have children. There are people who lose children. I think I am realizing that no matter what, there is always someone who has it worse. So as I sit here and start to pity myself, I know that I am so incredibly blessed to have a healthy two year old and a healthy little girl who hasn't been born yet. And it doesn't matter if she is born tomorrow, in a week or two weeks past her due date. I am blessed to have her at all.

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